The Geekscribe Guide to Getting Wifely Approval to Buy an HDDVD Player

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Today, we’ll examine how to purchase a HDDVD Player (between $200.00 to $500.00 but prices are decreasing).

What you want:

This depends upon your TV, really. There are different models to choose from. Mainly I look at what they output: 1080i or 1080p. I have a Toshiba HDA20. I like it a lot.

Degree of Difficulty Rating:
You’ll need some prior planning to pull this one off.

First, some notes:

• If you would like to get a HDDVD player, I would advise against the add-on to the XBOX360. If (I should say when) your 360 goes Red Ring on you, you won’t be able to watch your HDDVD’s either. Bummer! It’s best to get a standalone model.
• If you employ the following methods, it just might make you a bad husband / parent / human. I advise always to communicate, and be honest and forthright. That’s the way to true spousal harmony.

How you approach your wife with this purchase:

1) Buy It and Hope for the Best Method:

Once again, I would have to advise against this method. You might get away with it with some spousal consternation when purchasing smaller items. With big ticket items like this one, you are asking for trouble.

Wifely Approval Rating:
When you make the purchase, be sure to inquire as to what the store’s return policy is. You’re going to need it!

2) Put It On Your Amazon wish list Method:

Make the list public. Hope for the best. If someone actually does get you one, how can your wife say “No”? It’s a gift! However, I’ll have to file this method under the “Snowballs Chance” category, because that’s about the same odds.

Wifely Approval Rating:
Points taken off when your wife asks you who exactly you had to make a deal with to get someone to give you this as a gift.

3) The DVD Player Isn’t Broken, But It is Getting Old Method:

This happens all too often. Things get old, and break down, eventually, right, so we need to replace said items with new and shiny electronic stuff!

So what if the old player cost $45.00 last Christmas and the new one will cost both an arm and a leg! You can actually use this to your advantage. Tell her, “But honey, that’s why the old one is starting to fall apart… it’s ‘cause we spent so little on it! This new one, though it costs just a tiny bit more will actually last a lot longer.” If this doesn’t work, simply remind her that your daughter will be so very sad when she can’t watch her Disney DVDs. Ca-ching! Pulling at the heartstrings always works.

However, sometimes the heartstring doesn’t work. In that case, proceed with plan #4 below.

Wifely approval Rating:
This method makes sense — it’s perfectly logical. However, wives are by nature illogical creatures of beauty and wonder, prone to shooting holes in logic with cold stares and arched eyebrows. They are the logic killers.

4) Darn, The Current DVD Player is Broken Method:

This is an excellent method, provided the DVD player did get broken somehow. It’s not your fault if your daughter or one of her friends tried to store her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the old DVD player, is it? Lesson learned!

Just remember, though, that kids have a tendency to be extremely forgetful about what exactly the phrase “let’s keep this a secret” means. Your daughter may in fact blab about how much you paid her to cram her lunch in there. If this occurs, wifely approval rating will plummet, and you’ll spend extensive amounts of time in the corner.

Wifely approval Rating:
If you don’t get caught. This method works best if followed by either #5 or #6 below.

5) Take Her to the Mall. Let Her Buy an Outfit, and Stop at Best Buy on the Way Home Method:

This works great, because she’s already spent money on an outfit, so naturally, she’ll have trouble saying “no” when you want to get something as well (at least in theory, right?).

Unfortunately, this means you’ll have to endure hours, (maybe days or weeks) one afternoon in the mall. However, this is a small price to pay to see the love of your life get something nice for herself. For extra points, you can help her pick out something slinky.

The other danger with this plan is you might actually have to carry the purse. Try and look as manly as possible when carrying it. To make sure you get the look right, you should practice at home in front of the mirror.

Wifely approval rating: Rating:
Remember, you are going to the mall to be with your wife. If you happen to see a Best Buy with the exact HDDVD player you want on sale, well shucks. That’s providence.

6) Get It For Now AND The Future Method:

Look at the back of the model you’re interested in. Does it have an Ethernet connection? If so, this might be the right method for you. Tell your wife the following: “Dear, if we get this one, we can update it easily. We’ll be getting this one now, but it will be good in the future, too!” If your wife doesn’t snidely proclaim one of the following, you’re set: a) “Just exactly how far in the future are we talking about here?” or “Future? Good, we’ll get it later.”

Wifely approval Rating:
If you have a naturally suspicious wife, you’re dead meat. I also must admit that my wife, having read this blog as I write it, has decided we never need another DVD player, “because it’s updateable.” Husband Approval rating on her statement: -10.0

6) Beg and Plead Method:

This involves you, on your hands and knees, preferably in a quiet setting with no witnesses. Points to you if it at least elicits a chuckle from your wife. I would advise this one only as a last resort, because you have to think: what are you giving up if she says “Yes”? If it is something minor, like having to cook and clean dishes for a month, then it’s worth it. But something major, say giving up control of the remote…. I’d have to say “No way.”

Wifely approval Rating:
However, this is something she’ll never let you live down.

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