The Red Ring of Death
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
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I was playing Bioshock when it happened: everything froze. I did a restart, and played for a few more minutes, thinking “Nah. I couldn’t be one of the 30%, could I?” But deep down inside, I knew this was the end. Sure enough, over the next few days, it started freezing more and more often, and faster, too.
Saturday morning, I got the Red Ring of Death.
The Red Ring of Death – Also Known As: Big Death The OH SHI*T The Burning Ring of Fire The “So, That’s why I should have purchased the PS3!”
Yes. And now I was one of the 30%. And you know what? It didn’t feel good to be included.
After sobbing incoherently for fifteen to twenty minutes, I pulled myself together and dialed the customer service line at 800-469-9269.
Max was the first voice I heard. He was a computer. Max the computer said he had some questions, and if I answered them just right he could help me. After several tries, Max said doubtfully that he might be able to find someone to help me. I was put on hold. For about two minutes.
Richard answered the phone next. He explained he was a real person. He didn’t say if he knew Max, but I’m sure, since they work together, they are good friends. Perhaps they play cards or chess, or even Nintendo Wii when no one is watching. In any case, Richard was very kind, and super gentle.
Richard told me he was sorry to hear that my Xbox was sick. He said he’d send a little something my way. A box. To put my Xbox 360 in. He said it was a great box.
Hopefully Microsoft wasn’t actually involved in the design or assembly of my shipping box.
Richard said I should put my Xbox in the box, naked.
No, I was supposed to be fully clothed when I put my naked Xbox in the box. Naked meant no hard drive, no cords, no controllers. Just the XBOX.
When I was ready, some kind men from UPS would take my boxed Xbox to a real nice place where some more really nice people would rip out all its insides and put some new insides in, and then give it back to the kind brown shirted men, and those guys would bring my new and shiny, refurbished, Xbox 360 to me all ready for more gaming goodness. It would be gone for three to four weeks tops.
Refurbished – www.dictionary.com gives the following definition:
“To make clean, bright, or fresh again; renovate.”
Hmmm. We’ll see.
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6 Responses to “The Red Ring of Death”
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Jennifer says:
September 18th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
You’re funny kevin. I can’t wait to get the next installment
Avery says:
September 19th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Hello Kevin, I work with John’s wife Jennifer. Jennifer showed me this site and about your 360 getting the Red Ring of Death. Well, here is my story I wrote to my friends a couple of days ago:
“XBOX 360s seem to be physically built like Bill Gates himself.
At 8:34pm on September 13th, 2007 my X-BOX 360 suffered essentially a
heart attack while playing Bioshock. It just went blank and powered off. And you can imagine my response; like I just came out of a coma asking, “What the hell happened?” It was enough of a shock internally that I couldn’t help but make a slight twitch while starring confused at my TV.
I powered it back on, thinking it had a hick up or something. It powered back on, but nothing came up, only the dreaded ring of red flashing death from his power button.
My XBOX 360 did show symptoms of ailment prior to its death. Instead of sending him away for repair, he wanted to spend his remaining time playing Bioshock and Gears of War before his final destination into the unknown.
My only regret is that he never got to experience Halo 3.
Rest in peace, my friend, you will be missed.”
My XBOX 360 is also being returned. Max was the only person that spoke clear english when I called customer support. It took quite awhile to get my order processed. Then I called back a few days later to get my confirmation number again and status; the rep spoke better english that time around.
What I am trying to do now is get my buddy to buy my repaired 360 when it comes back while I buy an Elite now (I have Halo 3 reserved).
It’s funny that both of our 360s died while playing Bioshock. I wonder, is there is a connection?
John says:
September 21st, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I’m thinking that Bioshock is so ground-breaking that it’s taxing the system. It’s very weird. One or two people this happening to is strange, three or more is a problem.
Good to see you dude.
Kevin says:
September 21st, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I wonder if anyone is having problems with the Elites? Sigh. I really WANT to love Microsoft, since they are a “local” company and all. But right now I find myself failing miserably.
Avery says:
September 25th, 2007 at 10:33 am
:game: According to UPS, my XBOX 360 has reached the repair center in Texas today (Tuesday, the release day of Halo 3). Why do I get the sneaky suspicion that everyone that works there has probably called in sick today!?! Or perhaps they declared it a holiday and every one of them, accept 79-year-old Smitty, is holding down the fort, signing all the incoming broken XBOXs, and throwing them into the to-do bin. By the time they start repair on my XBOX 360 it will be December 2009 (just in time to hear about the news for Halo 4 on the XBOX 1080).
I bet if I call their support line on confirmation, Max’s voice (automated XBOX support person) will come on and say something like, “Hi, this is Max! We are all playing Halo 3 now, so go F yourself.”
My XBOX 360 picked a great time to die on me…
Mike says:
November 1st, 2008 at 4:18 am
My xbox 360 also messed up while playing Bioshock. Most people get the ring of death while playing games like bioshock, halo 3, and gta 4. My cousins 360 was also messed up when he started playing bioshock. I think some of the game discs have some sort of virus that causes the system to mess up.